I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
