I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
