so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
