I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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