Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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