I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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