we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
