A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He called his prostate his "boner button".
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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