so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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