oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
