they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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