The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
