i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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