I wanna bring you to show and tell
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
