Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
50% drunk capacity currently
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
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