watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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