In the future we'll all be gay
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
