What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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