Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
