he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
