Your mouth is God's brothel.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
