Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
