I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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