i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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