Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
