it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
