Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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