dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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