I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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