I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
