dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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