When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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