I cannot find my penis.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
