She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
