There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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