someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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