you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
