Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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