My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
