you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
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