Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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