If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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