when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
