Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
