as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
