btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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