Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
