It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
