Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
