some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
