would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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